Forgiven Yet Unforgiving
Forgiving others is one of the most challenging commands in Scripture, yet it remains one of the most distinctive marks of those who have experienced God's grace in Christ.
"Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you." - Ephesians 4:32
We often ask, "Why should I forgive people who have hurt me so deeply?" The question is natural, especially when wounds still feel fresh and the offender shows little remorse. Our fallen hearts crave justice—or revenge—rather than extending mercy. Yet God calls His people to a response from the supernatural work of grace in our hearts.
To understand what the Bible says about forgiveness, we really need to grasp the immeasurable debt that God has forgiven us. Apart from God's grace, we stand condemned, utterly unable to save ourselves. Our sins are not mere mistakes or slip-ups but acts of cosmic treason against a Holy God. Just think of how often we have sinned in thought, word, and deed. If we truly understood the weight of even one day's worth of our sin, I think we would be overwhelmed.
Yet in His mercy, God chose to forgive us. Not because we deserved it or because we had somehow made ourselves worthy. No—God forgave us because He loves us and made a way through the sacrifice of Jesus. As Romans 5:8 reminds us,
"God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."
The infinite debt we could never repay was settled once and for all on the cross. The just punishment we deserved was poured out on His Son. And now, through faith in Jesus, we are completely forgiven—just as if we had never sinned.
And even after this, we still struggle to forgive. It’s not easy. Jesus addressed this very issue in the parable of the unforgiving servant (Matthew 18:21-35). After being forgiven an impossible debt by his master, this servant refused to forgive his fellow servant a comparatively tiny sum. His master's response was severe:
"Should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?"
To forgive like Jesus means to release others from the debt they owe us. It doesn't mean pretending the offense never happened or that it didn't cause real pain. It’s not excusing the wrongdoing or removing appropriate consequences. Rather, it means we choose to no longer hold the offense against the person, just as God in Christ no longer holds our sins against us.
So, how do we forgive like Jesus when our emotions scream for justice? The answer lies not in mustering up enough willpower but in looking again to the cross and remembering.
The Holy Spirit empowers us to extend grace even when it feels impossible.
Forgiveness is rarely a one-time event; it's often a process of repeatedly surrendering our right to hold an offense against someone. Each time bitterness tries to take root, we must return to the gospel and remember the mercy we received.
In God's providence, learning to forgive becomes one of the primary means by which He conforms us to the image of His Son. Each act of forgiveness makes us more like Jesus, who prayed for His executioners,
"Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do" (Luke 23:34).
So, remember, your identity is not defined by what others have done to you but by what Christ has done for you. When you forgive, you're displaying the transforming power of the gospel in your life. In this broken world of hurts and offenses, nothing points more clearly to the reality of God's kingdom than Christians who forgive as they have been forgiven.
Kind Father, You embody mercy and grace in the forgiving of sins. I'm sorry for hanging on to bitterness rather than forgiving. Thank You for not treating me as my sins deserve. Please open my eyes to the magnitude of your kindness to me so I can be a forgiving person.
Song: His Mercy Is More